Long Socks So Long

"Why such long socks?"

"They keep my knees warm!"

"Why don't you wear pants then?"

"They make me hot."

"Don't your legs get cold?"

"They didn't until you mentioned it."

What are you looking at?

What are you looking at?

Hello?

I don't see anything!

I just got my bangs cut and the view is great!

Love

Love takes effort

Hate takes effort

Which one are you willing

To put your life energy 

Toward?

Bath Demands

"Phillip, go and squeeze me some fresh orange juice."

"I was just going to shave and the oranges are all the way in the garage refrigerator and the garage scares me."

"Need I remind you?"

"Of what?"

"OK, fine. Do you want it with pulp or no pulp."

"Pulp free please."

What took so long?

"So you are trying to tell me that it took you over an hour and you still could not find my shoes but brought the camera instead?"

"Yes, that is the story I am telling at the moment. I did bring you soap and a bucket."

"That has been sitting here since yesterday when mom gave the lizard a bath. What were you planning on doing with the camera?"

"Memories and possibly an opportunity for future bribery."

"What? And, WAIT...what is that around your mouth?

"Mom made me a sandwich and a plate of cookies that I think I was supposed to bring out to you, but I forgot and just ate everything. Sorry, I guess this is a bad time for a photo."

"Yep, now give it to me. I need to take your photo to remind you that you owe me, big time."

What shall we do today?

"I am not sure why you thought it was a good idea to walk barefoot in the grass."

"I do it every day with no problem!"

"You're a bear. You have no choice."

"I could wear shoes if I wanted!"

"OK, I stepped in something. It squished between my toes. I bet it's poop."

"Let me see. It looks like poop. It smells like poop. I wonder if it tastes like poop?"

"Phillip...NO!"

"Just kiddin' "

"Go get me some shoes and hurry. If this stuff dries. I am doomed."

"Yep, I'll be right back."

"What is taking that kid so long. I bet he is eating a snack. Never have a hungry bear fetch you anything. This is going to be a while."

How to catch a dinosaur

How to catch a dinosaur:

Not with a mitt.

Not with a net.

Catch him with your heart. Give him all of it. He will eat it up, well, not literally because this one is a herbivore. Don't get close to the others....they'll eat your heart and your entire body too!

Louder

"GRANDMA! Can you speak a little louder and a little younger? I am in my backyard sitting in a shopping cart while using my banana phone and I just can't understand a word you're sayin'! "

Being a toy

Since you are new, there are some things you should know about being a toy:

I was told we were made for kids, but adults are really great companions. They play with you much nicer, but sadly, not as often and in secret. Adults really need us the most. They are busy with jobs that make them closed and pursed face. Their jobs often take too much from them and that's when we come in. We soften them up, make them mushy inside. This is when we must put on the charm. Charm is a magical energy that locates happiness that has gone lost, gone missing, or was left wilting in dark corners. There is nothing like seeing an adult lighten, to smile with their entire face. This ability of ours is like a superpower, so use it sparingly and carefully. We wouldn't want the other adults to see and make fun of them, because this could cause them to put us away for longer or forever.

Sneaky Dogs

"Am I the only dog owner out there with dogs that love to go far into other people's lawns to use the bathroom? They always do it when my guard is down, while I am busy watching a butterfly flutter by or while I am waving at a cute kid as he rides his tricycle."

Ponies and Snails

"Can I pet your pony?"

"Are your hands clean?"

"Um, yah!"

"Nope, you paused. We can't risk it, plus, even if you did wash your hands I am not sure you did it thorough enough!"

"Why would you say that?"

"Well for one, I am not sure your boots are on the right feet, and yesterday, I saw you petting a snail."

"Fine, well you can't pet my snail."

"Hmmm, alright....just make sure you pet Pony with your cleanest hand and then take me to your snail."

"There he is! His name is Manny because he is a man snail. Now, are your hands clean, because we don't want Manny catching any cookies from your pony?"

"Cookies? How does one catch cookies from a Pony....she's not a chef, she's a horse. You mean 'kooties'."

"Ooohhh, that explains a lot. I was wondering why so many people were afraid of cookies!"

Etch-A-Sketch

I sketched the sun

And the mountains

The valley and the wind

I drew them into existence

So we could play, pretend

That life is always this beautiful 

Even when the uglies choose to arise

For darkness is cast away by the light of a sunrise

Twister: kid's version of yoga.