New Pet

I don't think mom will notice you. You are small and pretty quiet. I bet you don't eat much. You look like you keep yourself pretty clean. One more human added to our family can't hurt much. Yep, I am sure mom will let me keep you.

Happy Leap Year

Here he is!

"MOM...moooooomm, there you are. Here is the monster that was just about to suck my brains out through my toes because you didn't come when I didn't call you. He is the one that lives under my bed who eats those toes we were speaking about. Now you'll need to go to the store in about 10 minutes because he is about to eat all our food. He says he prefers corn dogs made from turkey not beef and would like some orange popsicles, guacamole and chips, and for dessert, chocolate devil's food cake. Come on, you saw that one comin'. How do I know what he wants? Because he is my monster and likes what I like. Now hurry before starts workin' on my toes again!"

I am done::muichan

"This is the end. I give up. I am just going to lie here and let him finish me off. Why don't parents ever believe their children? We only lie about unimportant things like borrowing things that aren't ours or about homework or about putting our boogers under pillows, but never about monsters. If I live to tell another lie, I'll...OK, maybe I should stop lying. This may be my punishment. Is that why you are here Mr. Monster. What? I don't.....Oh, sorry....your mouth is full."

Monster under my bed::muichan

"MOM! MMMOOOOOMMMM! There is a monster under my bed! No, not on my head....under my bed! Please look! I can't just go to sleep, he'll eat my toes...I just know it. Mom...MOM! Mom, mom, mom, mom....can you at least get me some hot dogs. I will stick them under my blanket and the monster will think they are my toes. He'll bite on those instead. Wait, can you bring me an extra? I'm kinda hungry. Thanks."

Whhhaaat?

"Whaaattt? I can't hear you! Did you say you gotta go? Well, there is no bathroom here. Whhaatt? No, I don't gotta go. No I don't. I went before we left! Oh, you mean we have to go home. Fine."

Sunday Morning

Before breakfast

We'll watch some TV

Then eat some pie

And something snazzleberry

How to Eat a Donut

1. Sit and admire your donut for 5 minutes.

2. Close your eyes and embrace its aroma.

3. Open your eyes and give it a compliment.

4. Pick it up very gently so as to not startle it.

5. Move it closer to your mouth. Don't worry, you will not hurt it. He has been waiting for this day.

6. Just before taking a bite, close your eyes and keep them closed. This helps strengthen the connection between you and your donut.

7. Chew your donut bite slowly. Allow the donut to break apart and become paste. This process helps release its magic.

8. Once the donut just about disappears, open your eyes and smile.

9. You have now been "donutfied" which is pretty much a superpower. Now, go about your day knowing you are unstoppable!

The Protective Sweater

"The weatherman said it would be cold so I decided to wear the sweater my aunt Hazel knitted.  I love this sweater because it protects my hands from frostbite and most of my face from becoming chapped. It also doubles as protection from the mouth breather that sits in front of me. He's sweet but his breath is not!"

Stuck in at lunch

My teacher made me stay in at lunch because I kept my beanie on in class. It's lunchtime now. She hasn't said a word. She has been on her computer the entire time. I think she is on Tinder updating her profile. I wonder if she has mentioned she smells of oatmeal and burnt ruber....her prospects really should know.

Lemon Groves

On my way home from school, I stop by the lemon fields. I sometimes pretend I am a lemon and enjoy being surrounded by family. Then I go home and lock myself in my room. It's an introvert thing.

Leaving

You make it really hard To go anywhere When you look at me that way With that sad little glare I have to be a human Make my way out into the day But there you always are Pulling me your way

Spending Sunday photographing my favorite fruit::gumby