Bath Demands

"Phillip, go and squeeze me some fresh orange juice."

"I was just going to shave and the oranges are all the way in the garage refrigerator and the garage scares me."

"Need I remind you?"

"Of what?"

"OK, fine. Do you want it with pulp or no pulp."

"Pulp free please."

What took so long?

"So you are trying to tell me that it took you over an hour and you still could not find my shoes but brought the camera instead?"

"Yes, that is the story I am telling at the moment. I did bring you soap and a bucket."

"That has been sitting here since yesterday when mom gave the lizard a bath. What were you planning on doing with the camera?"

"Memories and possibly an opportunity for future bribery."

"What? And, WAIT...what is that around your mouth?

"Mom made me a sandwich and a plate of cookies that I think I was supposed to bring out to you, but I forgot and just ate everything. Sorry, I guess this is a bad time for a photo."

"Yep, now give it to me. I need to take your photo to remind you that you owe me, big time."

What shall we do today?

"I am not sure why you thought it was a good idea to walk barefoot in the grass."

"I do it every day with no problem!"

"You're a bear. You have no choice."

"I could wear shoes if I wanted!"

"OK, I stepped in something. It squished between my toes. I bet it's poop."

"Let me see. It looks like poop. It smells like poop. I wonder if it tastes like poop?"

"Phillip...NO!"

"Just kiddin' "

"Go get me some shoes and hurry. If this stuff dries. I am doomed."

"Yep, I'll be right back."

"What is taking that kid so long. I bet he is eating a snack. Never have a hungry bear fetch you anything. This is going to be a while."

We are the weirdos, mister.